Coinci-dental-ly

I have an appointment to go see the dentist on Monday and I don't want to go. I broke a tooth about a year ago, but it hasn't been causing me any pain until recently, so I've been putting off the visit. But I can deny my dental debt no longer.

Monday is also Halloween, a holiday infamous for ruining children's teeth. The root cause of my tooth's decay could be traced to sweets, but it is more responsible to say it has been caused by my lack of care. Or at least by my lack of concern with regular dental visits.

I find myself wanting for someone to take care of me, someone to compel me to keep my appointment, make me go. These are by conscript childish desires. A child needs to be cared for, compelled to do responsible things, made.

And I am not a child, but that does not mean my feelings are in error. Because we never stop desiring comfort from another person or the dependence to not be wound tight over every adult thing we have to do.

I don't wanna go to the dentist, but I will. I don't wanna work instead of eating Snickers and watching scary movies that night, but I will. And I don't wanna have to do it all on my own. But I will. Because the "wants" and the "have to's" are as much a part of being an adult as they are of being a child.

Or maybe we just never stop being children. And having to go to the dentist. Dammit.