Fast Five WTF

First of all I'd just like to say: Who the fuck is driving that car up there? Cuz it ain't Vin Diesel and it sure as hell ain't Paul Walker. And what kind of name is "Diesel" anyway. I know I'm treading on old ground here, but, seriously. Diesel? He comes from a long line of Gas? Is that the idea? And Paul Walker ... nothing wrong with his name, he just can't act. The cars he drives have better chops than he does. I think I saw that Honda doing Shakespeare ...

Anyway, about the movie, which I know was released months ago, so what I'm about to say isn't really new. But I only just saw it, so bear with me.

We accept certain things about our action movies. Bruce Willis can walk on broken glass and still kick the ass of Alan Rickman. Our Commander and Chief can thwart a mid-air terrorist assault. And a ragtag group of Goonies can find the pirates treasure, saving their homes, all while thwarting the plans of three men and a little lady. But Fast Five ... Fast Five just takes it too far.

I'll accept that they could steal these cars from a moving train by just driving them straight off. D-man and Walker Jr. can jump from a mile up into a river and escape unscathed. A task force will split up into three parts: pro-wrestler, rookie cop and everyone else hiding out on a rooftop. The same pro-wrestler, the by the book lawman, will temporarily change his tune to seek revenge on the man that kills his team. And two cars can drag a fucking vault by some chains all while dancing around it with the vehicular grace and skill of cirque du soleil.

I will give you all of that. I'll even buy Paul Walker as a tough guy. And I'll overlook the OVERT insult to women, by insinuating that the only female member of the gang has no skills beyond her stereotypically hot body. But what I cannot, will not, my mind will not allow me to accept is ...

How the hell, at the end of the movie when he shoots the main bad guy, did Paul Walker drive up behind Vin Diesel without him hearing? That, I'm sorry, is completely implausible. I cannot accept that.

Fast Five, you disappoint me.